Linda Scher
Family Mediator and Facilitator

NOTE: This resource list is from the Basic Parenting Plan Guide published by the Oregon Judicial Department. This is not a list of endorsed materials but merely suggestions for books, publications, web sites and organizations that may be helpful as resources. Various individuals contributed to the resource list. The specific content of the materials and web sites does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Oregon Judicial Department or of the State Family Law Advisory Committee.

BOOKS - FOR PRESCHOOLERS

Bernard, by Bernard Waber. Bernard the dog runs away while his owners argue about who will keep him when they break up.

Dinosaur's Divorce, by Lawrence Brown. Through a dinosaur family, the writer of the Arthur children's books explains divorce in a simple and straightforward way.

My Family Is Changing: A First Look at Family Breakup, by Pat Thomas

Sometimes A Family Has To Split Up, by J. Watson

Tots Are Non-Divorceable: A Workbook for Divorced Parents and Their Children, Ages Birth to Five Years, by Sara Bonkowski

BOOKS - FOR ELEMENTARY AGED CHILDREN

Break Up: Facing Up to Divorce, by Gianni Padoanv Divorce Happens To The Nicest Kids, by M.D. Prokop

Divorce Is A Grown Up Problem, by Janet Stinberg

Families are Forever! Kids Workbook for Sharing Feelings About Divorce, by Melissa Smith. An interactive workbook that encourages children to express their feelings (ages 4-8).

How Does It Feel When Your Parents Get Divorced, by Terry Berger

I Don't Want to talk About It, by Jeanie Franz Ransom. When a child's parents sit her down to tell her they are going to get divorced, she fantasizes about the different animals she will turn into to deal with it.

I Have Two Families, by D. Herering

It's not Your Fault, Koko Bear, by Vicky Lansky. A "read-together book" for parent and child.

Mom and Dad Don't Live Together Any More, by K. Stinson

Mr. Rogers Talks With Families About Divorce, by Fred Rogers and Clair O'Brien

Why Don't We Live Together Anymore?: Understanding Divorce, by Carol Ackelmire. From the "Comforting Little Hearts" Series. For ages 4-8

BOOKS - FOR PRETEENS AND ADOLESCENTS

The Boys And Girls Book About Divorce, by R. Gardner. Normalizing information and advice from a child psychiatrist for children going through divorce.

Dear Mr. Henshaw, by Beverly Cleary. A sixth grader deals with going to a new school, his parent's divorce and his desire to be a writer.

Divorce Can Happen To The Nicest People, by Peter Mayle

The Divorce Express, by Paula Danziger. Phoebe's life changes when her parents divorce and she spends time with her father far away from her home and boyfriend.

Don't Fall Apart on Saturdays!: The Children's Divorce Survival Book, by Adolph Moser

Help! A Girl's Guide to Divorce and Stepfamilies, by Nancy Holyoke

How Tia Lola Came to Stay, by Julia Alvaraz. Multicultural book that takes the reader along a boy's new life after his parents' divorce.

How To Get It Together When Your Parents Divorce, by Arlene Richards and Irene Willis

It's Not The End Of The World, by Judy Blume. Karen plans to get her father and mother back together so they can realize that divorce was a mistake.

The Kid's Guide To Divorce, by Brogan, Marden & Fawcett

My Parents Are Divorced, Too, by Bonnie Robson

My Parents Still Love Me Even Though They Are Getting Divorced, by Dr. Lois Nightingale

Pickles and Peanuts, by Martha Ivery. Peanuts turns to her new friend Pickles to deal her feelings of abandonment, loss and being different from everyone else.

When Divorce Hits Home, by Thea Joselow and Beth Joselow. Written by a daughter and mother about one teenager's experience with divorce and how she dealt with it.

BOOKS - FOR ADULTS- GENERAL

Between Love and Hate: A Guide to a Civilized Divorce, by Lois Gold. Offers guidance to those going through divorce on improving communication, effective negotiation, and conflict resolution. Covers legal, financial and emotional issues.

Caught in the Middle, by C. Garrity and M. Barris

Crazy Time, by Abigail Trafford. A personal and academic account of the emotional and practical struggles of men and women going through divorce.

The Divorce Advisor, by Marcia Kline Pruitt.

Divorce And New Beginnings, by G. Clapp

Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life, by S. Marguilies

Going It Alone, by Robert Weiss

The Good Divorce, by Constance Ahrons. Shows couples how they can move beyond breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear family to a "binuclear" family.

How to Survive the Loss of a Love, by Melba Colgrove, Harold Bloomfield and Peter A. McWilliams.

Living Through Your Divorce, by Earl Grollman and Marjorie Sams

Untying The Knot, by Janine M. Bernard and Harold Hackney

Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce, by Diana Mercer (Fireside 2001)

BOOKS FOR ADULTS - PARENTING PLANS and WORKBOOKS

But...What About Me! (How it Feels to be a Kid in Divorce), by Bonnie Doss

Child Custody: Building Parenting Agreements that Work (3rd Ed.), by Mimi E. Lyster [Nolo Press, Jan 2000].

The Children's Book, by Marilyn S. McKnight Erickson and Stephen K. Erickson. A communication workbook for parents to use and pass back and forth as the children spend time in different homes. Includes places to record the schedule, activities, names, addresses and birthdays of friends and families, etc.

Creating a Successful Parenting Plan, by Dr. A. Jayne Major

Co-Parenting: Sharing Your Child Equally, by Miriam Galper The Custody Revolution: The Father Factor and the Motherhood Mystique, by R. Warshak

Divorce Book For Parents, by Vicki Lansky

The Divorce Decisions Workbook, by Margorie Louise Engel and Diana Delhi Gould. A planning and action guide. Contains extensive forms for information-gathering and decisionmaking.

The Divorced Parent, by Stephanie Marston

Families Apart, by M. Blau

Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children, by Jean Clark

Helping Children Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way, by Gary Newman

Helping Your Child Succeed After Divorce, by Florence Bienenfeld

How to Help Your Children Overcome Your Divorce, by E. Benedek and C. Brown

Impasses Of Divorce, by J. Johnson and L. Campbell

Joint Custody with a Jerk, by Julie A. Ross and Judy Corcoran. Excellent suggestions for examining each parent's role in ongoing parental disputes. Communication skills for dealing with a difficult ex-spouse. "Not just for people who have joint custody and not just for jerks."

Kids Are Worth It, by Barbara Coloroso

Mom's House, Dad's House: A Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced or Remarried, by Isolina Ricci. A practical guide to setting up two-home parenting arrangement. Useful for parents whether or not joint custody is chosen. Includes guiding principles for co-parenting and maps out emotional stages and milestones from the time of separation through remarriage.

Parenting Through Divorce, by Karen J. Todd, M.C. and Nancy Barros, M.A.

The Parent's Book About Divorce, by Richard Gardner

The Parent's Handbook: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP), by Dinkmeyer and McKay; STEP for Parenting of Teens

Parent vs. Parent: How You and Your Child Can Survive the Custody Battle, by Stephen P. Herman

Positive Discipline, by Jane Nelson

Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World, by Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelson

Second Chances, by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blackslee

Sharing The Children: How To Resolve Custody Problems And Get On With Your Life, by Robert Adler

Shared Parenthood After Divorce, by Ciji Ware

Surviving the Break Up: How Children And Parents Cope With Divorce, by Judith S. Wallerstein and Joan B. Kelley

Touchpoints: Your Child's Emotional and Behavioral Development, by T. Berry Brazelton

Without Spanking or Spoiling, by Elizabeth Crary

Vicky Lansky's Divorce Book for Parents, by V. Lansky

Your ___ Year Old (one book for each age), by Louise Bates Ames

BOOKS - FOR ADULTS - NONCUSTODIAL PARENTS

A Divorced Dad's Survival Book: How to Stay Connected to Your Kids, by David Knox

Every Other Weekend, by Kenneth F. Parker and Van Jones. Written by divorced fathers to help other divorced fathers confront pain and loss, understand their children's feelings and accept their changed role in their children's lives.

101 Ways to be a Long Distance Super-Dad...Or Mom, Too!, by George Newman. Simple and practical tips for keeping close with a child after divorce.

Long Distance Parenting: A Guide For Divorced Parents, by Miriam Galper Cohen

BOOKS ABOUT MEDIATION

Divorce Mediation, by Jay Folberg and Ann Milne, Editors

Divorce Mediation, How To Cut The Costs And Stress Of Divorce, by Diane Neumann

Getting Together, by Roger Fisher and Scott Brown

Getting To Yes, by Roger Fisher and William Ury. A general book about negotiation techniques, the introduction of the win-win solution concept.

A Guide To Divorce Mediation, by Gary J. Friedman, J.D.

Mediation, by Jay Folberg and Allison Taylor

Renegotiating Family Relationships, Divorce, Child Custody, And Mediation, by Robert E. Emery

PUBLICATIONS TO ORDER

Dealing with Loss: A Guidebook for Helping Your Children During and After Divorce, by Herman M. Frankel, M.D.; (503) 227-1860, http://www.divorcework.com ($5.00 per copy).

Family Law in Oregon, Oregon Legal Services (503) 224-4094. This booklet answers common questions on the subjects of Marriage and Divorce, Paternity, Custody and Parenting Time, Child Support, State Services for Children and Families and Adoption. A Spanish version is also available. ($.15 per copy). You can also download the English and Spanish versions of this publication from the Oregon Judicial Department's Family Law Website: http://www.ojd.state.or.us/familylaw.

My Parents Are Getting Divorced - A Handbook for Kids, ABA Section of Family Law Family Advocate, Vol. 18, No. 4. (312) 988-5522. ($9.00 each to $3.00 each, depending on quantity)

Oregon State University Extension Service, (503) 737-2513. Publications on Divorce and Remarriage, including: "Property Division and Spousal Support", "Child Support Decisions" and "Money Management for Stepfamilies". (free to $1.50 per copy)

VIDEOS

Children: The Experts on Divorce, Family Connections Publishing Co. (801) 268- 2800.

Listen to the Children, Victor/Harder Productions (313) 661-6730 Both videos effectively make use of children speaking about their divorce experiences interspersed with expert guidance.

INTERNET WEBSITES

Association for Conflict Resolution. This national organization has a great deal of information about mediation and about publications about divorce. Their book room has a direct link to Amazon.com.

Divorce Info, by Lee Bordon. Created by a Florida divorce attorney and mediator, this site offers knowledgeable and evenhanded articles of interest, including "How Can I Get the Kids Through This?", "What are the Mistakes People Make Most Often in Divorce?", and "What do I do now that I've Screwed Up?".

Divorce Source. This site has book lists, helpful articles, and referrals to various professionals indexed by city and state.

Divorce Central. A good assortment of resources and links including other state laws and organizations, and frequently asked questions.

Divorce Online. Extensive articles on the financial, legal and psychological aspects of divorce.

Divorce Support. Resources and services including forms and guidebooks for Oregon, finding a divorce professional, information on child support, and a bookstore.

Just For Kids. Find thousands of books for and about kids, some at discount prices, including new books, multi-cultural books, and holiday books. Search by categories or children's age, with recommendations and reviews.

Oregon Community Resource Directory. A comprehensive directory of community resources in Oregon, organized by county, including agencies, non-profit organizations, and service providers. Each resource has a listing with hours, location, and summary of services. Locate resources in your area for domestic violence, mediation, counseling, and more.

Oregon Mediation Association

Parenting Time Calendar, the calendar software allows parents to put in their parenting time schedule and print out custom calendars. It also calculates the number of parenting time overnights each parent has and calculates parenting time percentages. The Parenting Time Calendar is sold on the following website: http://www.parentingtimecalendar.com.

The Whole Family. Has a link to both a "Parent Center" and "Marriage Center" with articles on parenting, communication, divorce, child development, and more.

OREGON LEGAL INFORMATION

Oregon Division of Child Support

On-line Child Support Calculator

Family Law Resource Lists. Provides a county-by- county list of various family law and related services available in Oregon.

Oregon Judicial Department, Family Law Website. Information about state and local family law advisory committees, court-connected services, parent education, family law resources, and access to the statewide optional domestic relations forms.

Oregon State Bar, (choose Public at the bottom of the page). Legal information for the public is available at their "Legal Links" location. Also information about the Lawyer Referral Service and Modest Means Program.

Oregon Law Help. Provides a list of Oregon's legal services offices in the state, as well as free legal information for low-income Oregonians.

DIRECTORY OF MEDIATION PROVIDERS

Annual Resource Directory, Oregon Mediation Association, (503) 872-9775. Listings are alphabetical, geographic and by area of practice. Contains OMA Standards of Practice, consumer's guide to selecting mediators, and listings of non-profit services.

Linda ScherFamily Mediator and Facilitator

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